Wednesday, May 7, 2008

The Funny Spot

OK, so this isn't exactly related to the Empress Theatre, but it was so funny I thought I'd pass it along any way. I got it courtesy of Jane Straus the author of The Blue Book of Grammar and Punctuation. She credits it to one of her readers, Lester K.

The Funny Spot

Washington Post's Mensa Invitational asked readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition. Here is an edited version of this year's winners.

1. Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until
you realize it was your money to start with.

2. Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly.

3. Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.

4. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period.

5. Giraffiti: Vandalism spray painted very, very high.

6. Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it.

7. Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.

8. Hipatitis: Terminal coolness.

9. Karmageddon: It's like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the earth explodes and it's, like, a serious bummer.

10. Decafalon (n.): The grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you.

11. Glibido: All talk and no action.

12. Dopeler effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to
seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.

13. Arachnoleptic Fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after you've accidentally walked through a spider web.

14. Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito that gets into your bedroom at 3:00 a.m. and cannot be cast out.

15. Caterpallor (n.): The color you turn after finding half a worm in the fruit you're eating.

Extra points to the first person to correctly identify the actor laughing in the photograph. Hint: Nobody could hear him laugh in the film.

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